Genre exiles. These mere two words describe the predicament which I Am Ghost face. Five men, five men with eyeliner, five men with eyeliner and black leather clothing with no genre to call home.
Like an ex-Nazi war criminal convicted on seventeen counts of paedophilia, carrying a particularly potent strain of the black plague with an acute love for the works of Cher, not one person is willing to accept these poor refugees. 'They're not post-hardcore' they slashingly assert. 'Don't call them metal!' the other side retort. All the while, these poor brave men, look longingly through the shop window. Mascara dripping in the rain, mournfully observing the HMV staff member throwing their latest CD to the floor in frustration at not being able to find a home for it.
Spare a thought for these poor souls won't you. Done? Good, now on with the show where we play a game we like to call “10 Things I Hate About You”.
Hate #1: We hate the way you hold every note with the sound "urrrrrrrrrrr" the way a 50-year old man named Herman, waging an epic battle against phlegm might say it.
Hate #2: We hate the fact that despite the violinist being the only thing that made I Am Ghost remotely likeable, that element has been all but phased out. This renders you the kind of band who make Aiden seem mature and progressive.
Hate #3: The feeling we get everytime we can clearly hear one of your hackneyed, childish, pseudo-gothic lines which inevitable involves either blood, death, heart, wrists, vampires, pain or cry. This kind of work has the subtlety of a chainsaw with the brains to match. Exhibit A - ["Don't Wake Up"] "There is a sickness in the roses that you hold. Hold me and drown." Exhibit B - ["Bone Garden"] "When it rain it pours, when I rain you pour delicious. (yeah so delicious, I'm fergalicious.)" Exhibit C - ["So, I Guess This Is Goodbye"] "Don't ever be afraid 'cause I'm never letting go, of your face since I knew there would be blood spilling from your cuts / The wounds that wrapped you in love. Memories feed this disease." Exhibit D - ["So, I Guess This Is Goodbye (again)"] "Take these words I say, 'Will you marry me?' to our grave / I knew you were the one / THE ONE! THE ONE! / I knew there would be blood." Exhibit E - ["Set Me Free"] "I'm not someone to hold onto and cry / It was you, but now you're dead and gone, baby / I need a new pair of shoes and place to hide."
Hate #4: The fact that the entire album feels like a tantrum about all the band members who decided to salvage what was left of their lives and leave you Mr. Steven Juliano. Yes, we know two members left because they thought they were in a Christian rock band and you wanted to be all hardcore and stuff. This however, does not warrant songs like "Smile of a Jesus Freak" and taking every opportunity to use swear words which seem about as natural as those on an Avril Lavigne album.
Hate #5: You think screaming in a song makes it sound more authentic and hardcore, whereas in actual fact it sounds like an extension of the tantrum mentioned in the last section. It also doesn't help the Aiden comparisons. 2004 just called: even they don't want their 'shopping-centre screamo' back.
Hate #6: When you actually stop whining there are positive moments on the album. Take for instance the half-way point of "Don't Wake Up" or the interlude "Remember This Face Baby". There is actually a measure of atmosphere built in these moments, which provide brief stepping stones in the sewer run of "Those We Leave Behind". That every time they stop trying to pretend they're metal, they actually achieve results cannot be an accident.
Hate #7: There's a moment in the average listening span of an I Am Ghost song which runs parallel to the career of Spandex loving classic rockers The Darkness. That moment when the penny drops that this is actually meant to be serious with not one iota of irony. Happily, I Am Ghost are more efficient than The Darkness and you realise this fact far faster. Usually in the time frame it takes for the first verse to kick in. Is it too much to ask for bands to have a sense of humour when they fantasise about blatant misogyny. If The Vandals can do it, you have no excuse.
Hate #8: We don't mean to get personal here. But look at your promotional photographs. While image is completely immaterial to the music, that fact seems to have gone beyond you. Looking like a poster for the Winter clothing line of Hot Topic should not be something on a band's to-do list.
Hate #9: You have fans which respond to all criticism of their favourite band with the go-to 12 year old reason of “you're too old to understand”. This is not a persuasive argument. Imagine being told by an amoeba that you don't appreciate its style of dancing, then you're on track in the thought process. Fan responses will often be paired with praise of Silverstein as the poets of their generation. For examples of this, please look below in the comments section.
Hate #10: There is not a single original thought within the entire forty-eight minutes of this album. The girl on the cover looks exactly like the chick from the "Helena" video by My Chemical Romance. If you actually force yourself to listen to the CD (which we had to, many, many times) it's yet more goth-punk-lite. Enter with power-chords in the mid-range, throw in a few cutaways every so-often and then attempt to make every single line last for at least six weeks by holding every single syllable to distraction. Then cut down to arpeggios back by some palm-muting where appropriate. If there's something of a boring moment, throw in a scream or twenty. If My Chemical Romance were the blockbuster film (vapid, but still entertaining) then I Am Ghost is the cheap, knock-off, straight-to-DVD version which generally stars Carmen Electra.
True, we could have ended on another side-swipe like “You could do a remix of all the best moments of the 'Those We Leave Behind' album and still manage to distribute it on a floppy disk”. Yet, in the interest of fairness we're going to say something positive about the band (besides the faint praise mentioned in number six). Well, we were, but then we were told that it's wrong to lie.
2 / 10
thanks to tate for saying exactly what i thought when i read the Hate #2. to the writer, i can respect ur opinion about not liking this band, but seriously, who shit in your corn flakes when you wrote this? this whole 10 things i hate thing... yeah real cool guys. ive really only heard a bit of these guys music and i just simply enjoy it rather than picking it apart and holding some weird grudge like u guys seem to be doing. seriously, did steve piss yall off or something? i also find it ironic that as im writing this, the box for "Our Top Bands This Week" has I Am Ghost on the list... go figure...
Yes, I did realise that she had left, in fact I wrote a news post about the event: NEWS: I Am Ghost, They Are Left Behind
It would however, have been far better, if they had simply replaced the role that Kerith played rather than leave out the violin.
As for the top bands, that list is calculated by our collective last.fm playlists here at Strange Glue. Considering I must have played "Those We Leave Behind" around 20 times in one week (and another 5-6 times in the fortnight before) in a vain attempt to find something likeable about the album, it's not surprising that they made the list.
Wow...I love this band, and I really dig this album, but as a music/movie critic, I must say...bravo.
One of the best reviews I've read, and while I still love this album, I honestly can't argue with many of these points.
Well played, sir.
well then aidan, i can man up an appologize for my comment, and actually i agree with u on the point that they should have replaced the violinist rather than leave it out completely. i should also mention that i can see where some of your points come from about the band (while i like some of the music, i really dont get their style at all or what genre they are) i just thought u presented it in a pretty harsh way. i appologize for my comment it was a lil dickish and prolly came off much worse than i wanted it too, but i definitely respect your opinion and i know quite a few people who say the same thing about this kind of band
Couldn't haven't said it better myself.
They've just lost their sound with this record. It used to be somewhat original, what with, of course, the girl violinist, and the opera choirs - that is, actually spending time on piecing together the songs.
They promised something darker, but now it's just gone to the cliche poppy-punk default bands at this stage of their careers hit.
What do you expect when you have the producer of Senses Fails records help out..
by the way, I just love the analogies you gave.
Haha, Aiden, i love your reviews. Classic stuff.
What the hell?
This guy doesn't know how to write a review.
Nor does he pay attention to the lyrics.
Actually, the lyric in Don't Wake Up goes like, "Don't wake up, there is a sickness in the roses... Hold me and drown." He doesn't say 'hold me' twice.
In Bone Garden, what Steve is wanting to say is, "When it rains it pours, when I rain, you pour delicious."
In So, I Guess This Is Goodbye, what is really being said with better grammar/punctuation, is "Don't ever be afraid, 'cause I'm never letting go of your face since I knew there would be..." Then the chorus trails off... THEN the verse is a whole separate thing.
And FINALLY, in Set Me Free, Steve is really saying "I need someone to hold on to and cry, it was you but now you're dead and gone, baby. I need a new pair of shoes, a place to hide." HE DOESN'T SAY 'I'M NOT SOMEONE TO HOLD ONTO AND CRY.'
His lyrics make total sense.
Now I respect you not liking them, but, the 10 Things I Hate About You thing is corny and cheap and just plain weird... and... your review just sucks.
later hater.
Oh wow, it was "I need someone to hold on to and cry, it was you but now you're dead and gone, baby"
My eyes have been opened, give this album a ten! I take back any and all criticisms.
bah, you suck dude..."10 things i hate about u"? wtf?....
So you'd rather see a generic review citing everything he said but in paragraphs instead of a slightly quirkier structure?
Its like, either way, he hates the album and everything he says is pretty much spot on and to be honest, i like the 10 things.
It makes sense to do it to an album boasting MORE THAN 10 things to hate.
This band are are like audible knives...to the ears...with GUNS.
Man...u totally went to town on them here didnt you..Give credit where its due,its not a bad album,jsut shocking how u can write as much as u do negatively about the band..Theyre awesome,and until u see them live,say nothing,i rest my case
Saw them live on the Kerrang tour with The Bronx, someone else and Biffy Clyro (hence the reason i was at a Kerrang gig...).
They were literally the worst band i have ever seen live. Couldnt believe it was actually a "band" i was seeing....
I have to agree with a lot of what the reviewer had to say about the band. I had actually been looking forward to this album, but was disappointed in the end. I also found "Smile of a Jesus Freak" to seem a little immature on the band's part.
I agree with the reviewer for the most part. I dont think the album is absolutely terrible but there is no longer anything about this band that makes them special in any shape or form. I cannot see myself actually wanting to listen to this CD after the first few times, whereas when Kerith was in the band, they at least added elements to their sound that set themselves from the pack.
You guys are really blowing #9 here aren't you! Where are all the immature ranting fans, it's disconcerting when so many agree.
On paper, it's hard... Read on
Genre hybrids are nothing... Read on
Freshly processed from the strangeglue.com playlist at Last.fm
Thanks for reading, we really hope you enjoy the site.
We have a simple mission - to provide the best music news, reviews and articles that we possibly can.
Any feedback you would like to send, is most welcome - just visit the contact page and leave us a message. Even more importantly we really encourage you to get involved by leaving a comment on any of the articles or reviews.
Like strangeglue.com? why not bookmark us
music [at] strangeglue.com
Postal Adress:
StrangeGlue.com
PO Box 80
Hayle
TR27 4WU
This site was lovingly tended to by One Black Bear
tate
commented 2 months ago
you realise the violin player left the band. they didnt simply remove the element